Life as I see it

Life is like a maze. If you want something, you have to go through the maze. If you want to successfully get to the other side, then you have to know the maze's structure. But the maze's structure is covered in fog. You have to uncover them one by one.

The uncovering of the maze's dead end is what is known as mistakes. Mistakes is setback that you met when you want to achieve some goals. The most important thing to do when seeing setback is to step back and think of the ways of overcoming the obstacle.

I know through experience that reacting emotionally is not going to help in the long-term:
1. get sad that you have diabetes or you're late to the game in KPMG or you didn't went to good university.
- it may help you be motivated to study harder, work harder and so on. But you're better off just doing those things without getting emotionally abused. The side effect is that people around you will be affected by your emotions. And in the long run, you are generally sadder in life. With sadness and depression, you are more likely to give up what you do. Or do things poorly

The best way to deal with such set backs is to think back what are the root cause of the mistake you make. Learn from them. Find a way to overcome them if possible. If impossible to amend the mistake (like wasted time), then remember it as a lesson to not do them in the future.
a. getting to KPMG late.
- the root cause is that I went to do prop trading for 1 year. And go to study STPM for 1 year. That's why I am late 2 years. The experience I learn at prop trading is good. The wasted time in STPM is not good.
Can you amend the mistake? : No you can't. because it is wasted time.
What can you learn ? : For prop trading, it is generally good to wander to a different path and do different things. However, please keep in mind that you are foregoing time in the main course. You have to weigh the pros and cons. For STPM, I learn that it is a good idea to make your decision based on more than one factor. You decide to go STPM because of the scholarship, you disregard the reputation of the school, the time spent and the people you'll meet there. So remember to based your decision on multiple factors.

b. getting diabetes at such age.
The best thing I learn from this is there is almost no point to getting depressed from this disease. You lack motivation. You are sad. You done nothing to help yourself and rid yourself of the disease. You are affecting people around you emotionally. You really affected your family.
- the root cause is I drink sugared coffee and eat unhealthily over the past few years. Also, the stress of striving for excellence (which is linked to my tying of self-worth to intelligence and academic result) make my body insulin intolerant.
- What can you do about it : Well you can fast, you can eat healthily, you drink less coffee , you sleep more, you exercise more. There are many ways you can deal with this problem. But if you depressed about it , you don't do those things.


Getting emotional about the wall.
The walls in the maze is reality in life. Getting angry, scared, sad, jealous may eventually help you to do things that ultimately benefit you. Like if you are behind, then you are angry, then you worked hard, then you get ahead. But things like this are not sustainable. Emotions are just the stepping stones and it has consequences. If the emotions lasted for too long, you will mental and physical health issues. You whole body dislike work and goals. You feel awful. It is better just get to the ultimate work that will bring you what you want, without the consequences.

People:
One of my greatest weakness is I get angry at people for being selfish, for people who treated me like nothing and so on. These are the reality of life. You can change one person by getting angry at them, especially if you have power over them. But you can't change hundreds and thousands of people that you will meet over the course of your life. So getting emotional is not a good solution.

You know that people wants to feel important. They are generally selfish. They wanted to be loved and liked. They want things that will provide them benefit and happiness. All these things you know. These are the walls in the reality of life. Getting angry , sad and jealous about these reality is not the best solution because the wall is solid and was built by nature/god. You can't change them.

What you can do is to work around them. If you goals is to have friends and have relationship, then you'll do well if you work with these reality and get around them and use the wall and laying it horizontally to build bridges and so on.

What makes it hard is the the more truth you know about people. The more you know what you want. And when people don't do those things , you get angry at people. This is dangerous. It is like you are becoming the wall of the maze. It is important to remember that you are the person who wants change. So you are responsible for making the change. In return, people are going to give you what you want. If not this one person, then the others. The better you work with human, the benefit you will gain. You will gain tremendous values and power because the giver is much less than the takers. And the giver is much sought after than the taker. It is like a corporation who want to make money. They make money giving value to people.

Ego and self-worth
I think ego is just beliefs of yourself. If you belief you are smart, thats your ego. If you belief that you are important, that's your ego. Ego is usually linked to what you think is what you are and what you think is good. Ancient warlord may linked to his killing of people to his strength , courage , protector and importance.Nobody will think of himself/herself badly, if one do so, they will be depressed. That's the essence of human nature. People don't like their ego/self-belief challenge , either by talks that are partially truthful or actions that is counter to their self-belief. People hate it and will defend it.

You have a self-belief that you are smart. It is supported by countless exams. When you tell people that you are smart, they don't like it because their ego is saying they are smarter, and they linked it to good. If you tell a billionaire who flunked high school that you are smart, they won't get angry, they will even congratulate you, because their ego is tied to their networth and they think it is good. They may even think the smartness is bad.

This belief that you are smart is quite damaging in the decision you make. If you make decision and believe you are right on the basis that you are smart, it is not in consistent with reality. In life, the merit of a decision is based upon facts that will support it and against it. You have to support your decision based on those factors.