This problem keep arising.
1. I get angry when people keep talking about themselves/selfish.
2. I get angry/jealous if two friends like each other more than me.
Monday, 21 November 2016
Principles by Ray Dalio
So life is full of natural law, social law that existed long before you and they are way more powerful than you are.
If you want to achieve what you want, you have to understand how these laws work and deal with it. You need to be realistic
Eg: If you want to do well in exam, you have to understand how people study well, understand the topics covered well.
If you want to achieve something, when you reach your limit, typically you will feel psychological pain. You need to push through the pain. That's how nature tell us that we have reach the limit.
Mistakes are a gem , because it signal that we have encountered a problem. We could get a gem if we successfully solve the problem.
Life is like a maze, full of walls and puzzle. When you encountered a mistake, it means you stumbled upon a wall. So your job is to find ways to overcome/deal with that reality.
People get depressed when they encountered a mistake , maybe they think that the mistake is irreversible. Or they are stuck with that ability for a long time. Your only options is to find a way/solution to solve the problem. because getting emotional doesn't help.
You have to think independently and think for yourself with reasoning. Think with reasons ! Think thoroughly why something should or should not be done.
The way to come out with your own principles is to test it with reality.
I have tested the reality a little bit with my success in studying. The same principles behind it will apply in achieving success with business.
Conclusion: my understanding of the principles is fragmented. Not holistic
We define success as achieving something difficult. Then if we want to achieve something difficult, typically we encounter pain, which is a growing pain. But if you push through the pain, and consistently operate through a level of pain, then that pain will gradually fade away. If you recognize that pain is good, then that become a growing pleasure.
There are a couple of weakness
1. I allow depression, anger to control me
Depression causes you to lose productivity/will to do something and anger makes me unhappy with someone.
Specifics
- If I make someone unhappy, I get depressed
- If someone don't respect me , I get angry
- If someone like another person more than others , I get angry
+ recognize that preference is reality of life. some people will prefer someone else. getting angry means u wish reality is different from it is.
+ recognize that you could increase your relationship with both friends by finding out their behavior/nature and effectively deal with them. But note that you could have an inherent personality that make that person dislike you. But you could significantly improve the chances of the relationship with your friends by understand why the other person is more likable and learn from it.
+ reality is that in order to improve the relationship, you have to understand what the other person is like, then you behave accordingly to what he likes/appreciate.
+ reality is that getting angry will only damage the current relationship with your two friends
+ reality is that the two friends are having a great relationship and you may not match that, for eternity due to an your inherent personality.
If you want to achieve what you want, you have to understand how these laws work and deal with it. You need to be realistic
Eg: If you want to do well in exam, you have to understand how people study well, understand the topics covered well.
If you want to achieve something, when you reach your limit, typically you will feel psychological pain. You need to push through the pain. That's how nature tell us that we have reach the limit.
Mistakes are a gem , because it signal that we have encountered a problem. We could get a gem if we successfully solve the problem.
Life is like a maze, full of walls and puzzle. When you encountered a mistake, it means you stumbled upon a wall. So your job is to find ways to overcome/deal with that reality.
People get depressed when they encountered a mistake , maybe they think that the mistake is irreversible. Or they are stuck with that ability for a long time. Your only options is to find a way/solution to solve the problem. because getting emotional doesn't help.
You have to think independently and think for yourself with reasoning. Think with reasons ! Think thoroughly why something should or should not be done.
The way to come out with your own principles is to test it with reality.
I have tested the reality a little bit with my success in studying. The same principles behind it will apply in achieving success with business.
Conclusion: my understanding of the principles is fragmented. Not holistic
We define success as achieving something difficult. Then if we want to achieve something difficult, typically we encounter pain, which is a growing pain. But if you push through the pain, and consistently operate through a level of pain, then that pain will gradually fade away. If you recognize that pain is good, then that become a growing pleasure.
There are a couple of weakness
1. I allow depression, anger to control me
Depression causes you to lose productivity/will to do something and anger makes me unhappy with someone.
Specifics
- If I make someone unhappy, I get depressed
- If someone don't respect me , I get angry
- If someone like another person more than others , I get angry
+ recognize that preference is reality of life. some people will prefer someone else. getting angry means u wish reality is different from it is.
+ recognize that you could increase your relationship with both friends by finding out their behavior/nature and effectively deal with them. But note that you could have an inherent personality that make that person dislike you. But you could significantly improve the chances of the relationship with your friends by understand why the other person is more likable and learn from it.
+ reality is that in order to improve the relationship, you have to understand what the other person is like, then you behave accordingly to what he likes/appreciate.
+ reality is that getting angry will only damage the current relationship with your two friends
+ reality is that the two friends are having a great relationship and you may not match that, for eternity due to an your inherent personality.
Saturday, 12 November 2016
Envy
Reality: I get jealous when someone is better than me in something I cared about.
Root cause : I want that thing.
What to do about it:
0. Accept the reality that you felt envy at this moment, but also accept that you have the power to choose the way you react/feel about it.
1. Know that you can achieve something better through applying the principles.
2. Know that people who achieve something great , probably did it because they applied their own principles that works.
3. Know that the other people probably has something for you to learn.
Root cause : I want that thing.
What to do about it:
0. Accept the reality that you felt envy at this moment, but also accept that you have the power to choose the way you react/feel about it.
1. Know that you can achieve something better through applying the principles.
2. Know that people who achieve something great , probably did it because they applied their own principles that works.
3. Know that the other people probably has something for you to learn.
Tuesday, 1 November 2016
People Skill
Important: You want to enjoy good relationship with people, but you are unwilling to change yourself and do the right thing. You insist that your own human nature is reality. You are accepting the true reality.
Because the reality is , the world will response if u acted in a way that is aligned to human nature. If you do not want to do that, you won't enjoy good human relationship. This is the basic principles.
Truth:
If you want to be the best, you have to take risk others will avoid.
People want to be important
- We need to generally look at people in the eyes when we are talking to them. Not stare at them, depends on the situation.
- greet them
People want to be liked
- smile at them genuinely , but not all the time, is an art.
- greet them happily
Talk about something that interest them
Listen to them with interest
Talk to people first.
When the relationship goes a bit deeper.
People want to feel loved
Concern about them.
Accept their flaws , as it is just reality
Know that all these principles you apply , is just nice-to-have. Don't react angrily to people when they don't reciprocate.
The greatest obstacles I have when dealing with people is that I allow my emotion to dictate my behavior.
Because the reality is , the world will response if u acted in a way that is aligned to human nature. If you do not want to do that, you won't enjoy good human relationship. This is the basic principles.
Truth:
If you want to be the best, you have to take risk others will avoid.
People want to be important
- We need to generally look at people in the eyes when we are talking to them. Not stare at them, depends on the situation.
- greet them
People want to be liked
- smile at them genuinely , but not all the time, is an art.
- greet them happily
Talk about something that interest them
Listen to them with interest
Talk to people first.
When the relationship goes a bit deeper.
People want to feel loved
Concern about them.
Accept their flaws , as it is just reality
Know that all these principles you apply , is just nice-to-have. Don't react angrily to people when they don't reciprocate.
The greatest obstacles I have when dealing with people is that I allow my emotion to dictate my behavior.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)