Why get sad when you unfriend a person at Facebook ? If you want more friends, then you should get out there and make friends. There are cost (petrol cost) when you need to drive to find your friends.
If you lose friends, then it is the consequences, which you do not need to be sad at all because you intended it. As simple as that.
Now I just need to focus on finishing launch school
Friday, 9 December 2016
Issue of friendship
It is pretty normal to lose friends over time. It takes effort to maintain friendship especially with distance. No need to be sad because friendship wilted. It is normal.
Build new friendship. Find new people. Maintain the good ones and you will have a bunch of good friends. The value of friendship is not a function of time. It is something else. It is the effort, heart that a person put into the relationship that create lasting friendship.
Find more friends who have a good and strong attitude. These are the people who will influence you to be successful. Maintain old ones who have a genuine friendship.
Build new friendship. Find new people. Maintain the good ones and you will have a bunch of good friends. The value of friendship is not a function of time. It is something else. It is the effort, heart that a person put into the relationship that create lasting friendship.
Find more friends who have a good and strong attitude. These are the people who will influence you to be successful. Maintain old ones who have a genuine friendship.
Monday, 21 November 2016
Problem
This problem keep arising.
1. I get angry when people keep talking about themselves/selfish.
2. I get angry/jealous if two friends like each other more than me.
1. I get angry when people keep talking about themselves/selfish.
2. I get angry/jealous if two friends like each other more than me.
Principles by Ray Dalio
So life is full of natural law, social law that existed long before you and they are way more powerful than you are.
If you want to achieve what you want, you have to understand how these laws work and deal with it. You need to be realistic
Eg: If you want to do well in exam, you have to understand how people study well, understand the topics covered well.
If you want to achieve something, when you reach your limit, typically you will feel psychological pain. You need to push through the pain. That's how nature tell us that we have reach the limit.
Mistakes are a gem , because it signal that we have encountered a problem. We could get a gem if we successfully solve the problem.
Life is like a maze, full of walls and puzzle. When you encountered a mistake, it means you stumbled upon a wall. So your job is to find ways to overcome/deal with that reality.
People get depressed when they encountered a mistake , maybe they think that the mistake is irreversible. Or they are stuck with that ability for a long time. Your only options is to find a way/solution to solve the problem. because getting emotional doesn't help.
You have to think independently and think for yourself with reasoning. Think with reasons ! Think thoroughly why something should or should not be done.
The way to come out with your own principles is to test it with reality.
I have tested the reality a little bit with my success in studying. The same principles behind it will apply in achieving success with business.
Conclusion: my understanding of the principles is fragmented. Not holistic
We define success as achieving something difficult. Then if we want to achieve something difficult, typically we encounter pain, which is a growing pain. But if you push through the pain, and consistently operate through a level of pain, then that pain will gradually fade away. If you recognize that pain is good, then that become a growing pleasure.
There are a couple of weakness
1. I allow depression, anger to control me
Depression causes you to lose productivity/will to do something and anger makes me unhappy with someone.
Specifics
- If I make someone unhappy, I get depressed
- If someone don't respect me , I get angry
- If someone like another person more than others , I get angry
+ recognize that preference is reality of life. some people will prefer someone else. getting angry means u wish reality is different from it is.
+ recognize that you could increase your relationship with both friends by finding out their behavior/nature and effectively deal with them. But note that you could have an inherent personality that make that person dislike you. But you could significantly improve the chances of the relationship with your friends by understand why the other person is more likable and learn from it.
+ reality is that in order to improve the relationship, you have to understand what the other person is like, then you behave accordingly to what he likes/appreciate.
+ reality is that getting angry will only damage the current relationship with your two friends
+ reality is that the two friends are having a great relationship and you may not match that, for eternity due to an your inherent personality.
If you want to achieve what you want, you have to understand how these laws work and deal with it. You need to be realistic
Eg: If you want to do well in exam, you have to understand how people study well, understand the topics covered well.
If you want to achieve something, when you reach your limit, typically you will feel psychological pain. You need to push through the pain. That's how nature tell us that we have reach the limit.
Mistakes are a gem , because it signal that we have encountered a problem. We could get a gem if we successfully solve the problem.
Life is like a maze, full of walls and puzzle. When you encountered a mistake, it means you stumbled upon a wall. So your job is to find ways to overcome/deal with that reality.
People get depressed when they encountered a mistake , maybe they think that the mistake is irreversible. Or they are stuck with that ability for a long time. Your only options is to find a way/solution to solve the problem. because getting emotional doesn't help.
You have to think independently and think for yourself with reasoning. Think with reasons ! Think thoroughly why something should or should not be done.
The way to come out with your own principles is to test it with reality.
I have tested the reality a little bit with my success in studying. The same principles behind it will apply in achieving success with business.
Conclusion: my understanding of the principles is fragmented. Not holistic
We define success as achieving something difficult. Then if we want to achieve something difficult, typically we encounter pain, which is a growing pain. But if you push through the pain, and consistently operate through a level of pain, then that pain will gradually fade away. If you recognize that pain is good, then that become a growing pleasure.
There are a couple of weakness
1. I allow depression, anger to control me
Depression causes you to lose productivity/will to do something and anger makes me unhappy with someone.
Specifics
- If I make someone unhappy, I get depressed
- If someone don't respect me , I get angry
- If someone like another person more than others , I get angry
+ recognize that preference is reality of life. some people will prefer someone else. getting angry means u wish reality is different from it is.
+ recognize that you could increase your relationship with both friends by finding out their behavior/nature and effectively deal with them. But note that you could have an inherent personality that make that person dislike you. But you could significantly improve the chances of the relationship with your friends by understand why the other person is more likable and learn from it.
+ reality is that in order to improve the relationship, you have to understand what the other person is like, then you behave accordingly to what he likes/appreciate.
+ reality is that getting angry will only damage the current relationship with your two friends
+ reality is that the two friends are having a great relationship and you may not match that, for eternity due to an your inherent personality.
Saturday, 12 November 2016
Envy
Reality: I get jealous when someone is better than me in something I cared about.
Root cause : I want that thing.
What to do about it:
0. Accept the reality that you felt envy at this moment, but also accept that you have the power to choose the way you react/feel about it.
1. Know that you can achieve something better through applying the principles.
2. Know that people who achieve something great , probably did it because they applied their own principles that works.
3. Know that the other people probably has something for you to learn.
Root cause : I want that thing.
What to do about it:
0. Accept the reality that you felt envy at this moment, but also accept that you have the power to choose the way you react/feel about it.
1. Know that you can achieve something better through applying the principles.
2. Know that people who achieve something great , probably did it because they applied their own principles that works.
3. Know that the other people probably has something for you to learn.
Tuesday, 1 November 2016
People Skill
Important: You want to enjoy good relationship with people, but you are unwilling to change yourself and do the right thing. You insist that your own human nature is reality. You are accepting the true reality.
Because the reality is , the world will response if u acted in a way that is aligned to human nature. If you do not want to do that, you won't enjoy good human relationship. This is the basic principles.
Truth:
If you want to be the best, you have to take risk others will avoid.
People want to be important
- We need to generally look at people in the eyes when we are talking to them. Not stare at them, depends on the situation.
- greet them
People want to be liked
- smile at them genuinely , but not all the time, is an art.
- greet them happily
Talk about something that interest them
Listen to them with interest
Talk to people first.
When the relationship goes a bit deeper.
People want to feel loved
Concern about them.
Accept their flaws , as it is just reality
Know that all these principles you apply , is just nice-to-have. Don't react angrily to people when they don't reciprocate.
The greatest obstacles I have when dealing with people is that I allow my emotion to dictate my behavior.
Because the reality is , the world will response if u acted in a way that is aligned to human nature. If you do not want to do that, you won't enjoy good human relationship. This is the basic principles.
Truth:
If you want to be the best, you have to take risk others will avoid.
People want to be important
- We need to generally look at people in the eyes when we are talking to them. Not stare at them, depends on the situation.
- greet them
People want to be liked
- smile at them genuinely , but not all the time, is an art.
- greet them happily
Talk about something that interest them
Listen to them with interest
Talk to people first.
When the relationship goes a bit deeper.
People want to feel loved
Concern about them.
Accept their flaws , as it is just reality
Know that all these principles you apply , is just nice-to-have. Don't react angrily to people when they don't reciprocate.
The greatest obstacles I have when dealing with people is that I allow my emotion to dictate my behavior.
Wednesday, 26 October 2016
Pragmatic Thinking and Learning
Summary
There an L-mode and R-mode thinking.
When learning to code.
1. write your code/problem. Merge yourself with your pen. Try to feel the words.
2. draw your problem/code.
3. talk about your code verbally.
4. visualize writing the code in your code.
5. you can step away from the keyboard
6. use mindmap if possible
7. When reading use SQ3R - scan, question, read, recite, review
8. Make your own notes.
9. teach the material.
10. Learn from your doing.
11. It is OK to fail, as long as you intensely and learn from it detailedly.
12. Learn from other people's code
13. Break things down into small sizes
14. Practice, practice and Practice !
15. Get the overall gist first, then only study the details.
16 Focus on the fundamentals well. Deeply hone that skill. Learn the ultimate gist of that.
When Learning to Code
You are going to read about the subject. Use SQ3R when reading about that topic. You should make your own notes (it is beneficial even if you don't read it again). Prefer handwritting than typing.
Effective Technique to study
Try to talk the code to others, draw the code, visualize the code. Use mindmap if possible. Get the overall gist first before studying the details.
Practice problem solving in coding. It is okay to fail, as long as you learn from it. Even if you succeed, learn to read from other people's code. Break down the code to bite-size.
Focus on the fundamental well. Depth over breadth.
There is a growth spurt between phases of your learning.
There an L-mode and R-mode thinking.
When learning to code.
1. write your code/problem. Merge yourself with your pen. Try to feel the words.
2. draw your problem/code.
3. talk about your code verbally.
4. visualize writing the code in your code.
5. you can step away from the keyboard
6. use mindmap if possible
7. When reading use SQ3R - scan, question, read, recite, review
8. Make your own notes.
9. teach the material.
10. Learn from your doing.
11. It is OK to fail, as long as you intensely and learn from it detailedly.
12. Learn from other people's code
13. Break things down into small sizes
14. Practice, practice and Practice !
15. Get the overall gist first, then only study the details.
16 Focus on the fundamentals well. Deeply hone that skill. Learn the ultimate gist of that.
When Learning to Code
You are going to read about the subject. Use SQ3R when reading about that topic. You should make your own notes (it is beneficial even if you don't read it again). Prefer handwritting than typing.
Effective Technique to study
Try to talk the code to others, draw the code, visualize the code. Use mindmap if possible. Get the overall gist first before studying the details.
Practice problem solving in coding. It is okay to fail, as long as you learn from it. Even if you succeed, learn to read from other people's code. Break down the code to bite-size.
Focus on the fundamental well. Depth over breadth.
There is a growth spurt between phases of your learning.
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